10 Things You Must Do before Looking for a Serious Relationship
Amazingly, people rarely think things through before they start looking for a serious relationship. Most of the time, love-seekers are casual in their outlook. Even users of serious dating websites such as Elena’s Models, authors of success stories, who found a committed partner, admit they initially didn’t believe it would work for them. They are, in fact, surprised that their laid-back listings managed to end in a lasting union, although this was precisely what they dreamed about.
10 Things to Complete before You Start Looking for a Serious Relationship
Are you ready to embark on your pursuit of a lasting attachment?
Habitually, aspiring lovers treat their search for a serious relationship as a “try”: Something they give a go without much hope to score. In many cases, the results could be achieved much faster and with less effort, if the necessary groundwork was done prior to the quest for a partner.
1. Write down your life story.
When you begin talking to fascinating ladies, each of them would be interested in knowing more about you. Telling your story to each candidate may become a laborious exercise.
Recording the chronicle of your life beforehand will also allow you to find better expressions to describe certain events. At times, it is the way you portray things that causes women to back off. If you read and edit your narrative in advance, finding correct words will be easier without time constraints and the urge to answer quickly.
As you start using serious dating sites for marriage, keep editing the manuscript, adding or removing details as necessary. Treat it as your CV: With each potential employer, you may need to highlight specific aspects.
2. Decide what you want in a partner.
When jotting down important points, strive to avoid vague descriptions. For instance, all of us want to find a partner who is intelligent and kind. But how do you define these qualities? What does kindness mean to you?
For instance, you may pinpoint activities or experiences as markings of particular traits of your future spouse.
- Dog or cat owner (or used to have a pet).
- Someone who enjoys volunteering.
- Talks to her parents at least once a week.
- Reads at least 2 books a year.
- Has IQ of 120 or higher.
- Attends courses to learn new things every year.
- Travelled to 10+ countries.
Any quality, desirable or otherwise, has its attributes, how it is expressed in the daily life. When you know what approximately to look for, you will notice it immediately.
Notably, define objective criteria such as age, education, marital status, presence of kids or desire to have them, smoking and other lifestyle habits. Maybe you have a penchant for a definite hair or eye colour, body type. It is OK to have preferences.
Once you recorded your wishes, give it a few days to settle. Most likely, you will come up with some other important points to add to the list.
3. Identify do’s and don’ts.
Your list of wishes is complete. Time to narrow down the criteria. Name only 10 parameters that fit into “must have” basket.
In addition, you also need to categorize precisely 5 “deal breakers”. For instance, you absolutely do not want someone who smokes. Or you may wish to only be with a lady who has never been married before. Maybe, vice versa, you prefer someone who is divorced and already knows how a failed relationship feels, and learned her lessons.
4. Discover what females looking for a serious relationship seek.
The actual requirements will depend on the background and type of women you want to see as a future partner. Locate enough profiles of women you find attractive, potentially suitable as a serious relationship partner you are looking for. Copy and paste their self-descriptions and separately wishes for a partner into a Word file. Make sure you have at least 20-30 profiles to work with. Read women’s descriptions a few times. You will clearly see a pattern.
Do you have what these ladies want? Make sure you add some experiences that confirm it, in your life story (see point #1).
5. Get high quality photos.
If you decided with certainty, “I need a serious relationship that will lead to marriage”, this step is essential. Without good photos, you are wasting your time today.
Any woman whom you don’t know yet, first of all, wants to see how you look like. Even when I am trying to arrange a blind date between two of my friends, they want to see a picture of the proposed applicant beforehand.
If you are seeking a potential marriage partner, you need several portrait photos done outdoors, in semi-formal clothing. Yes, some casual shots will be also desirable, and for this purpose you can use images taken by your friends, selfies, etc.
But for the purpose of introduction to your future spouse, hire a professional photographer who specializes in pictures for serious dating sites. Just as people dress up for weddings or formal events, you must lift up your image for serious introductions.
Getting professional photos will cost you a very small amount, as compared with constantly paying for dead end dates.
What to wear for the photo shoot:
- White shirt & suit
- New T-shirt (without prints) & jeans
- Long sleeved shirt and slacks
Altogether, 3 different outfits.
Avoid any clothing that looks worn or too casual, regardless of how you dress in normal life. Most people wear comfortable clothing at home and doing regular chores, which doesn’t mean this is how you should dress to meet your future spouse for the first time.
If you wouldn’t dare to arrive dressed like this to a dinner date, don’t use this outfit for your photos on a website where you are looking for a marriage partner.
6. Update your wardrobe
Again, this step is not optional. Your quality photos and serious attitude will definitely attract excellent candidates whom you’ll want to meet in person. This may happen extremely quickly and you want to be ready for that.
Go to a good department store and ask a shop assistant in a men’s department to find you items that can be worn together several ways. Tell him you need clothes that look good on you, because you are dating an amazing young woman. (Don’t worry, you will be doing it pretty soon.)
This is what you need:
- A pair of jeans
- 3 long-sleeved shirts
- Jacket and pants that go together
- 3 T-shirts
- 3 polo shirts
- Leather shoes with laces
- 6 pairs of cool socks (yes, women pay attention to your socks)
- 6 pairs of new underwear
- Long-sleeved jumper
- New cologne
When buying the clothes, they should fit 2 major requirements:
- Look good on you
- You feel comfortable in them
Don’t try for something too familiar though, be prepared to step out of your comfort zone a little bit.
Nothing gets a woman faster than a well-dressed man. She will forgive shyness, awkward jokes, and inability to match her exact expected courting ritual, if you look good. And looking good in women’s books means well-dressed.
So, you can spend years fine-tuning your dating and communication skills, and pumping iron in a gym, or you can buy elegant outfits. Which way seems simpler?
As you start going on dates, you may find out that you need more clothes. By that time you will already feel comfortable in your new image. Buy extras as required, maybe you will decide to get another jacket, more or less formal, another pair of pants or jeans, additional socks and undies.
7. Tidy up your home.
Most often it is the lady who moves to a gentleman’s home, once things get serious. In any case, even if you decide to rent a new place together or move in with her, she is going to visit and probably stay overnight in your humble abode quite a few times until you become an item.
If she finds a messy place, she may not see you as a suitable long-term prospect or husband.
Think what would need to be done to your place if you were to sell it. Normally it involves removing all the clutter, giving it a spring clean, replacing some furniture, tidying up curtains and gardens, and so on. Carpets and furniture have to be professionally cleaned.
- If you own your home, think what it would require to be rented out furnished.
- If you rent, imagine you are moving out and have to leave the place clean enough to get your bond money back.
Your bathrooms, fridge, and kitchen must be squeaky clean. Any erotic type or literature or video materials safely locked away, where a curios female visitor has no chance of finding them.
Check your bathroom cupboards and throw away any old stuff or medicines. Girls love checking a man’s bathroom, it gives them an idea what kind of person he is.
The easiest way to go about it is to take everything out of a room and put all stuff in boxes (or piles in the garage), and then rearrange furniture to make it look nice. Maybe buy some new items, throw away old pieces. Then sort out the things from the boxes.
You should be ready to welcome The Love of Your Life into your home.
8. Improve your looks.
If you want to score the best partner, you want to put as much effort as you possibly can, to perk up every aspect of your life. This includes your physical looks.
Unless you go to gym 3-4 times a week and love looking at yourself in the mirror with no clothes on, there are simple and quick upgrades you can make to instantly become more attractive to quality women.
Losing weight is straightforward. Healthier food + physical activity, it’s a sure-fire combination. To make it easy on yourself, simply go for long walks (35-45 minutes) as exercise, and remove sugar, refined carbs, and fried foods from your menu. Avoid alcohol as well, as it contains a lot of calories. The same goes for packaged food.
- Sweetened drinks (Cola, Lemonade, etc)—swap with water.
- Chips, fries—baked potato.
- Cakes, cookies, chocolate, candies—dried fruit & nuts (apricots, prunes, raisins, walnuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, etc).
- White bread—wholegrain or rye bread.
Eat more vegetables (broccoli, beans, green leaves, etc.), fruit, fish, chicken breast. Lean meat is also acceptable.
If you remove sugar and refined carbohydrates, and at the same time increase your physical activity, you will not only lose excess weight, but also improve your vitality, stamina and health.
Some people choose to sign up for a meal delivery program (such as Weight Watchers, Light & Easy), where you get portioned food for a week. It removes the need to cook, shop for groceries, or choose ingredients.
Right now tidy beards are in fashion and can be recommended to attract younger women. But a beard should also look correctly.
Book an appointment at a hair salon and ask a stylist to recommend something that might fit your face. Ask them to show you the look in a magazine or an online gallery.
- Hair stylists see a lot of people and they usually know what will suit your face and make you more attractive.
- If you are not totally against it, give it a go.
- You may want to book your hair stylist before hiring a photographer (p. #5).
When you start exercising, even if it’s just walks, you posture will also improve. To progress faster, try taking dance lessons or do special poses, such as standing against the wall with your back as straight as possible for 2-3 minutes. Better posture makes you appear more self-assured.
9. Get your finances in order.
This step is optional, because you can still attract a gorgeous woman while being totally broke. At the same time, financial security will help you to feel more confident—and confidence is tremendously attractive.
- Create your financial statement: List all assets and liabilities. Put values on assets. Calculate your net worth.
- Record your income and expenses for a month. Keep all receipts and go through your credit card statements, then see what precisely you are spending you cash on.
- Can you save somewhere? Strive to put away 10-15% of your monthly income. The easiest way to do it is by creating a scheduled payment in your online banking.
Having some cash in savings will help you feel more secure.
10. Start doing it —right now!
Jot a plan right away, what steps you are going to make and in which order. You can change it later, at the moment you simply need something to start with.
- Split each goal into steps and actions.
- For example, getting a new haircut. Step 1: Find a good hair salon. Step 2: Book an appointment. Step 3. Find images online how you would like to look. Step 4: Discuss your haircut with the stylist, pick the best and get it done. Simple!
Attaining a serious relationship is a step-by-step process, and if you move in the right direction, you will inevitably arrive to your destination. It’s no rocket science. Every person, including you, is able to achieve it.
Realize that if you don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life, now is the best time to have it sorted.
Nothing will be 100% perfect ever. Maybe a family situation will arise or a health issue, your job or finances change. The “ideal day” to start your search may never arrive.
You are not getting younger or grow more handsome. The global outlook is shifting every day and you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow and how it will affect your life. You are able to find a great woman and get married within 12-18 months, start a family quickly, hold your baby in your arms in 2 years. You don’t know if this is going to happen if you delay your search for a partner.
Now is the perfect period and moment of your life, to find that stunning woman you have always dreamed about.
Start your journey right now!